Krista Tedrow’s Post

Today is my beautiful Mum’s Birthday. She would have turned 76. 🐦⬛ We toasted her. First with my eldest son, milkshakes in hand before his last day of Year 12. Then over wine at lunch with my husband and mother in law. And with milk at dinner with the younger kids. A few quiet wishes from close friends throughout the day. A few tears shed alone while I thought of her. I miss her today. I do everyday. But when milestones like birthdays and other occasions pass, it is a reminder that time passes while she remains still. Frozen memories in time. Or at least that’s how it feels. This beautiful article below captures so many of my feelings today. I commend it to you. We all become acutely aware of the passage of time when we grieve. While the physics of time break my brain, I especially liked the paragraph I’ve shared below. If like me, today marks a moment when you feel the painful stab of grief, be gentle with yourself. 🦋 ——————————————————————— https://lnkd.in/g2Sqe6BE “In physics, there is a theory called the “block universe,” which posits that time is merely a construction mankind created to make order of our universe and that, in reality, past, present, and future all exist simultaneously. Some physicists vehemently dispute this theory, but that is not my battle to wage. I don’t pretend to understand the physics behind it—that’s way above my pay grade and intellectual capacity—but it is a soothing thought, isn’t it? Perhaps we are not moving away from each other in time but living together in this block universe, simply out of sight of each other.” #grief #griefpsychology #gogently #time #psychologytoday

6 lessons from "Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again by Lysa TerKeurst: 1. It's Okay to Still Be Mad: You don't have to forget what happened to forgive someone. Forgiveness is about letting go of the anger and resentment that's holding you back, even if the memories sting. 2. Holding Onto Grudges Hurts You More: Think of a grudge like a heavy backpack you carry everywhere. Forgiveness is like setting that backpack down and feeling lighter. 3. Forgiveness is for You, Not Them: Forgiving someone doesn't mean saying what they did was okay. It means letting go of the negativity so you can heal and move forward with your life. 4. Baby Steps Are Okay: Forgiveness isn't a light switch you can just flip on or off. It's a journey. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories, even if it's just feeling a little less angry today than yesterday. 5. You Deserve Peace: You can't control what happened in the past, but you can control how you choose to move forward. Choose peace for yourself, even if the other person doesn't deserve it. 6. Talk to Someone You Trust: Bottling up your feelings can make it harder to forgive. Talking to a friend, therapist, or someone you trust can help you process your emotions and work through the pain. #stopoverthinking #mondaymorning #bookaday #bookworm #RJnuts

As my daughter’s twelfth birthday approaches, it triggers a nostalgic journey back to my own preteen milestone. A memory that remains vivid amid the countless other celebrations captured in video clips. On that momentous occasion, I gathered a lively crew of friends and embarked on a whimsical adventure to a water wonderland, complete with exhilarating water slides. We crammed into a rented minibus, hearts brimming with enthusiasm and laughter. However, it’s not the laughter I recall most; it’s the inexplicable impulse that led me to craft signs for the minibus windows, proudly proclaiming my ascent into teenagehood, even though I was still firmly rooted in my preteen years. My mother swiftly corrected this imaginative leap of mine, casting a shadow of embarrassment that, like many shameful moments, lingers in the depths of memory. Yet, as I reflect, I recognise that my embarrassment is a pinprick into the experience of shame. I know for some, shame is a profound and enduring emotion tied to far weightier events. Speaking openly about this memory today, I acknowledge that, no matter how well-intentioned the guidance of adults may be, the lenses through which we view the world ultimately shape the narratives etched in our minds. Unfortunately, shame sticks, and we feel it regardless of how much love others shower on us. As I continue with this article on shame and trauma, it’s important to remember that if you’re experiencing feelings of shame or symptoms of trauma, your feelings are valid. Regardless of any self-blame you might wrestle with, or the reassurances from adults who attempted to negate their behaviours with declarations or love – or even more confusingly actually performed typical loving acts at other times. https://lnkd.in/eR6xcvK8

We mature with damage, not with age. This profound statement captures the essence of growth and resilience. It resonates deeply with me, and perhaps my story might shine a light on the truth behind it. My life took me through a series of whirlwinds. The traumatic loss of my sister left a void that no amount of time could fill. Then years later, following on its heels was a painful separation, thrusting me into the daunting role of a single mom. Each of these events felt like insurmountable mountains at the time. But as I navigated through the labyrinth of grief, pain, and responsibility, I discovered reservoirs of strength I didn't know I had. Each challenge shaped and evolved me: ✅ Grieving and Growing: The loss of my sister taught me the fragility of life and the importance of cherishing every moment. It made me more compassionate, understanding, and grateful for the relationships I have. ✅ Finding Independence: Separation, while painful, unveiled a side of me that could stand firm even when the ground beneath was shaky. It reminded me of my self-worth and the value of self-love. ✅ Embracing Motherhood Solo: Being a single mom, I learned the art of juggling responsibilities, the joy of unconditional love, and the strength that comes from being the anchor for a little one. The psychology behind our growth from trauma is rooted in post-traumatic growth. This transformational process allows us to rise to a higher level of functioning. It's not the adversities, but our reactions to them, that define us. For those reading, remember that challenges, as tough as they might seem, offer opportunities for profound growth. Embrace them, learn from them, and let them mold you into a stronger, wiser, and more resilient version of yourself.

🔊 Gather 'round everyone, let me share a nugget from the Adventures of Parenting Chronicles that’ll surely have a few of you chuckling or musing, "Been there, done that." The other day, as the sun set and painted a golden hue outside, I sat with my son (who's just about taking those first wobbly steps into adulthood). We delved deep into conversations about goals, dreams, and navigating the treacherous waters of "what-do-I-want-from-life." Mid-discussion, with that classic teenager mix of exasperation and sass, he declared, "Dad, I'm doing this for YOU!" 🙄 Now, imagine me, like a deer caught in the headlights. 😳 "For ME?" I thought. My inner alarm bells went off. I realized he was running away from the fear of disappointing me, rather than running toward what truly lights his fire. Here’s the fun fact folks: away-from motivation is a sneaky little fellow. Think of it as that half-charged battery you have lying around. It'll give you a quick start, but soon enough, it'll sputter out. You dodge the fear, and then what? Motivation's gone, just like that last slice of pizza at a party. 🍕 On the flip side, toward motivation? Now that’s the real deal. It's like your trusted coffee machine that brews your morning joy. It keeps you going, chasing after that tantalizing reward, dream, or state of being until it's firmly within grasp. ☕ So here I am, Dad-turned-coach, on a mission! Helping my son (and in a way, myself) rediscover his motivations. To find what he’s truly striving for, not just what he’s running from. Because let's face it, we all want to be running toward our dreams, not just away from our Monday blues. 😉 And for all of you who've had similar revelations, remember this: As we guide, teach, or lead, our role is not just about lighting the way, but ensuring that the journey is driven by the right fuel. 🔥 Stay motivated, stay inspired, and always aim towards your dreams! 💪

Hey Mamas, ever find yourself drowning in a sea of chaos, wondering if you’re the only one struggling to keep it all together? Trust me, you’re not alone. Parenthood’s beautiful mess can often feel overwhelming. But here’s the thing: you’re not failing; you’re simply human, juggling love, laughter, and life’s craziness. So, what if I told you there’s power in embracing the chaos? 🌪️✨ Welcome to the Hot Mess Mama Tribe! Here, we celebrate imperfections, honor the struggles, and find strength in the midst of mayhem. Each spilled cup of juice, every bedtime meltdown, and all those moments when you question if you’re doing it right – they are proof of your incredible, imperfect journey through motherhood. We get it because we’re in it too. As Hot Mess Mamas, we understand the challenges of balancing kids, careers, and self-care. But amidst the mess, there’s resilience, love, and unyielding determination. Together, we navigate this rollercoaster ride, supporting each other through the wild twists and turns. 🌺 Why Embrace the Chaos? Embracing the chaos isn’t about pretending everything’s perfect. It’s about acknowledging our struggles while finding the courage to face them head-on. It’s about realizing that your messy kitchen, sleepless nights, and endless to-do lists don’t define your worth as a mom. Instead, they showcase your tenacity and the depth of your love for your family. So, let’s flip the narrative. Your chaotic moments aren’t signs of failure; they are badges of honor. Each day, you’re molding little hearts, teaching life lessons, and creating memories. Your love, patience, and resilience are the foundation upon which your children build their futures. Here in the Hot Mess Mama Tribe, we support, uplift, and empower one another. Whether you need a listening ear, parenting hacks, or just a virtual shoulder to lean on, you’ll find it here. Together, we’ll turn chaos into strength, and overwhelm into opportunities for growth. Welcome, Hot Mess Mamas, to a community where your messy bun and worn-out smile are celebrated. Let’s embrace the beautiful messi

In a world that often celebrates Mother's Day with joy and gratitude, there are those who quietly grapple with the complex emotions that the day brings. See https://lnkd.in/eDv2R-jT for the full blog. #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #itsokaytonotbeokay #itsoktonotbeok #mothersday