Taking paternity leave is a powerful act of male allyship that advances women's workplace equality ... [+]
When it comes to gender equality, 88% of men respondents in a Fairygodboss survey in 2019 said they want to support women’s advancement in their workplaces. Yet the majority of those men said they’re not sure how to help. When asked to provide examples of “male allyship,” men mentioned hiring, mentoring, promoting, and advocating for women. Not a single respondent mentioned lobbying for paternity leave. Or taking paternity leave. Or supporting other men who take paternity leave.
This absence reveals a crucial knowledge gap. No male allyship “to do” list is complete without including the promotion of paid paternity leave.
When men take paternity leave, women achieve greater workplace success. This is not because men’s careers get derailed. It’s because men who take paternity leave destigmatize leave-taking for women. As sociologist and family demographer Richard J. Petts explained to me via email, “when men take paternity leave, it demonstrates that all workers – not just women – can have caregiving responsibilities.”
As a result, paternity leave is key to eliminating the “motherhood penalty.” This refers to the well-documented loss of pay and career advancement that women experience after becoming moms because employers assume they are less committed to their jobs.
Petts’ newest study backs this up with exciting findings for would-be male allies. Petts previewed his results for me via email. In his soon-to-be published study, Petts found evidence that “workers who take parental leave in organizations where leave-taking is normative are viewed as more committed and more likely to receive a raise/promotion, compared to workers who take leave in organizations where leave-taking is less common.”
Reducing the caregiving stigma on women, in turn, reduces the gender pay gap. One study by the Institute for Labour Market Policy Evaluation found that women’s long-term income after having a child rose by nearly 7% for each month that her male partner spent on paternity leave.
Men taking paternity leave also reduces the negative impact on women’s careers that can result from the stress of being a new mom. Women report less postpartum depression when their male partner plays an active parenting role during paternity leave.
Perhaps most importantly, men who take paternity leave are more likely to engage in shared parenting throughout their children’s lives. New research by psychology professor Darby Saxbe finds that caregiving during paternity leave actually rewires men’s brains to improve their nurturing response. Long-term co-equal parenting, in turn, reduces women’s “double shift,” which allows women to spend more time on their careers.
Co-equal parenting also enables women to weather economic downturns. During the Covid-19 pandemic, women with male partners who shared parenting responsibilities were less likely than other women to leave the workforce or reduce their paid work hours.
Taking paternity leave is not just itself an act of allyship. Paternity leave also hones men’s other allyship skills. When men return to work after paternity leave, they show greater empathy for working moms. They report less sexist beliefs. And they become stronger advocates for work/family policies.
Journalist Liza Mundy summed up the research well when she concluded that the “true beneficiaries of paternity leave are women.” So for men who say they want to support women’s workplace advancement, here are three ways to flex your allyship muscles.
1. Advocate For Paternity Leave
Men who work at the majority of U.S. companies that don’t offer paternity leave should lobby their employers for change. Making the business case for paid leave is a good way to start. Paternity leave not only advances women’s equality, but also reduces costly turnover for men, according to a 2021 study by McKinsey & Company. Fathers who take paternity leave return to work more engaged and productive, and they are likely to stay at their company longer.
2. Empower Other Men To Take Paternity Leave
Men in leadership positions should establish a culture that encourages taking paternity leave. This requires leaders to take paternity leave themselves. Build work teams that you trust to perform in your absence. Then lead by leaving. Performance evaluations of managers should include an assessment of their success in getting male employees to use available paternity leave.
3. Use Your Paternity Leave
Men who have paternity leave available should use it. All of it. And do not show up at the office or manage work remotely while on paternity leave. Let your male colleagues who want to be gender allies know that leaning in to caregiving at home is a powerful way to advance women’s equality at work.
